I'm moving to NYC to further my career!

Well its true, finally after many many months of hard work and phone calls I've been accepted to an elite NYC art school. I'm entrenched in the full turmoil of finding a suitable residence. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you these next few months as I move to the big apple. Fortunately my wealth and social status affords me the luxury of taking time off. I'm so determined that I had William load up the truck with a few things and as I write this I'm driving to the the BIG APPLE! If i can make it there I can make it anywhere!

Midgets are crafty

Not only can they were the clothes of small children, but the size and evil hearts allow them to camoflage and blend in. The only real way to spot them is their hands, midgets only have 3 fingers and a thumb (just like cartoon people).

They are probably watching us right now!

Bird for Sale!

After many many years of faithful service (which included biting my hand, and crapping in a birdcage 4-5 times a day) its time we bid farewell and find a new home for ChiChi.

ChiChi is an african gray parrot, we originally paid over $500 for!

We're selling the bird, the cage, and a stack of Wichita Times newspapers (which we also call cage liners) all for the low low price of $350.

As in all of my innernet offers...first come first serve y'all!

Handpainted Portraits Make Greeeeaaat Gifts!

Handpainted portraits make great gifts! They are so personal and really warm up a space. I'd like to share this "master payza" with you, our neighbors the Hendersons were looking for a new family xmas card picture that was extraordinary!

Plus they can put the lifesize print in their living room!

Portly People and Small Dogs - they go together...

But why?

It's really simple actually, this way the portly people can keep most of the food for themselves. They don't have to be jealous about feeding a tiny dog.

It works every time!

Billy Dee Williams is right, I find that if you can't negotiate to get what you want..a little malt liquor or a handgun will help you get the deal!

Colt 45 - the official beer and handgun of Pepper Creek Ranch.

Kids need to know that vegatables can be bad! >:0

3 years ago the left wing media really ramped up their attacks on the beef, and tobacco industries..both of which are near and dear to our hears. Nearly everyone that didn't participate in our MLM programs or come to our galas...turns out were vegatarians. The worst of them were the Vegans! Each Labor day we dress in a large carrot outfit and go about town and scare children, they need to know that vegatables aren't all they are cracked up to be. There have been a few instances where we have had to "roll" strollers and kick children in the fanny, I think it really helps emphasize the message.