Portly People and Small Dogs - they go together...

But why?

It's really simple actually, this way the portly people can keep most of the food for themselves. They don't have to be jealous about feeding a tiny dog.

It works every time!

Billy Dee Williams is right, I find that if you can't negotiate to get what you want..a little malt liquor or a handgun will help you get the deal!

Colt 45 - the official beer and handgun of Pepper Creek Ranch.

Kids need to know that vegatables can be bad! >:0

3 years ago the left wing media really ramped up their attacks on the beef, and tobacco industries..both of which are near and dear to our hears. Nearly everyone that didn't participate in our MLM programs or come to our galas...turns out were vegatarians. The worst of them were the Vegans! Each Labor day we dress in a large carrot outfit and go about town and scare children, they need to know that vegatables aren't all they are cracked up to be. There have been a few instances where we have had to "roll" strollers and kick children in the fanny, I think it really helps emphasize the message.

I love carrying an umbrella!

Well, it's starting to get into the rainy season here at Pepper Creek Ranch, and the thing I like most about rain is UMBRELLAS!

I love carrying an umbrella because it makes me look smart and sophisticated...and more importantly reminds those don't don't have one how unprepared and slow minded they are.

So next time you leave the house, bring an umbrella..you'll impress people and and impress upon them your social status!

BTW: ever notice how the lower classes and portly people never have one ;)

I'm a Twitterati!

I always try and stay up on the latest and greatest methods for succeeding. Now all of you can follow me and my sound financial advice on Twitter! It will be like your computer and phones will allow me to hand you dead presidentes!

you can follow me there at www.twitter.com/peppercreekrnch

They wouldn't let me use the 'a' in ranch, which is disturbing because I do prefer the king's english.

Which Financial Predator are you?

With MAGNOCASH you'll become a financial carnivore! We find that most succesful MAGNOCASH participants have a predator for a mascot. We encourge them to make them into hats and tshirts! My cousin Brad is a largemouth bass - eating all the smaller financial fish in his pond, and Ed Sonnenstein (the newest member) is a plains buffalo ( a truly ferocious beast that eats humans)! I am the wolf! Which one do you want to be? Most PWOM's are very low on the financial food chain, they are accustomed to being consumed and losing. Another thing is they are mainly fat and make for good financial meals ;)

What's for lunch at Pepper Creek? CASH SALAD of course!

It's really amazing how much money we're making at Pepper Creek. The sales of my "ebook" are rolling in, and the new MagnoCash program is fantastic! Thanks for all the "good news" and "success" stories! It really means our MAGNOCASH program is working!!!

To quote step 17, "If you have the means, mean it!"...and we have! MAGNOCASH creates wealth by turning every facet of your life into a "cash magnet". It's something that the PWOM's (people without money) will never get. Like step 28 says, "don't imagine, become!". So keep up the good work out there folks, maybe you'll be having cash salad for lunch soon.

My ebook is working - just ask the Olsen's!

Brad and Penny Olsen are THRILLED with my new ebook about the innerweb and how to make a few bucks! They sent me this photo of their profits so far. Penny says "I don't need to keep shopping for that new car smell perfume..BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT MY OWN NEW CAR!"

Brad has quit his teaching job to go full time into my program, he writes "Those kids weren't listening, and their PWOM parents drove me nuts! You got to make your own magic and thats what we're doing!"

Thanks Penny and Brad, keep up the good work. For all you PWOM's (People WithOut Money) out there, let that be a lesson!

They may look small and cute but....

midgets are highly organized and have an agenda to bring down normal sized humans. Everyone knows that midgets hate kids and by association the parents.

Today more than ever, midgets are trying to advance their vile agenda into mainstream america. They have parties, go out in public, even have their own TV shows!

When do we as decent people rise up and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This summer, you will see them more than ever..at the circus, the county fair's, the carnivals. Be aware and BEWARE!

Tornado season is here!

For some those pesky twisters are tearing up their rickety houses and trailerhomes...but for me and William it's been a tornado of greenbacks!

The last few months I've really focused on my craigslist ministry, helping the lost and poor improve their salesmanship skills! Based on some of the feedback I'm really changing lives.

If I've helped you and you've benefited, I would appreciate sending a few dollars to me to compensate for my valuable time....and then tell your friends about my great advice!

Here are a few tidbits I've passed along so far:
* To the lady selling the white fabric couch, I recommend taking a picture that doesn't show the pee stain. If necessary, flip the cushion over so it's "hidden". Buyer beware I always say!
* To the person shopping for used kids clothes on the internet...one word "YUCK". If you can't pay full price for clothes then you probably shouldn't be shopping.
* To the person selling kids toys for under $10..have some pride in yourself! write a witty description and multiply your price by 5! you'll be seeing green quick!

Keep up the good work folks, I look forward to all your 'thank you's'

Memorial Day BBQ - Celebrating the $1.5M mark!

To those of you blessed enough to have attended our Memorial Day Gala, you are welcome! To those that got angry because you DID NOT READ the invitation regarding the dress code and were turned away hungry...you will NOT be invited back.

Overall the event was rousing sucess. Each year we like to acknowledge our "Wealth Mile Markers" and despite the recession we were able to take in over $1.5M by May! Most of the credit goes to our proactive approach to money management, and being able to turn a dime into a dollar (or however the saying goes) and of course BIOFIXX. Anywaaaaay, I'm just beaming that all of you could attend. I will post more pictures on my 'Facebook' page.

PS: I know who was making fart noises during the opening ceremony, YOU WILL NOT be invited back to Pepper Creek ever again sir.

Does the swine flu only afflict the portly and the poor?

The recent warm weather allowed William and I a chance to refresh the pool area. We installed a 60" plasma TV so we could lounge about in our bathing suits and keep up with the latest "goings on".

All the hubub about the swine flu really got us to thinkin' (thats southern for thinking). Maybe it's true that the swine flu strikes down the poor and the portly. If you're penniless AND heavyset...you're in trouble LOL. The words "natural selection" come to mind. The man upstairs really does smile on thin winners!

We're giving up giving for Lent!

Helloooo - sorry for the long absence. We just had too many trips to beautiful sandy places to find time to blog! Shame on all you people out there who are hoarding their money instead of spending it in nice places like Costa Rica to help the US economy. Where is your sense of patriotism?

Anywaaaaay, I just wanted to say that for Lent, William and I have decided to give up giving to charity! See all those people spinning the "Wheel of Money?" We are all a little bit tired of giving to people who don't take that money and spend it on new electronic consumer goods and fancy figurine imports. Instead, they are being selfish and saving this money, or buying health care. How does that help our country? I'll tell you how - it doesn't! Shame on you.

So, we fell liberated that we can give this up for Lent. Have fun without us, all you lazybone PWOMs!

toodles!

I have wonderful looking feet

It's true. I'm really not sure if it's the Jenkin's family DNA or our upper class lifestyle but my tootsies are superb!!! And you know what my feet love, Jimmy Choo's....

It's good to be back in the US of A!

We're back in God's country (literally) as of last night. We're gentry here in the US, but overseas we are truly royalty. The resort was lovely, we appreciated all the wonderful well groomed attendants. Once we got away from the resort we found too many grimy and grubby people. I've posted some pics of the trip on facebook! It's a busy week for us, we have decided to accept a last minute invite to Tampa for the big game. TTLY!

Good riddance - evictions are easy when you're overseas

It's early here in Peru, I've just ordered room service and was checking emal when I got the good news that we finally were able to evict Mamsy and Gramps. For years we've tolerated this couple who own (or should i say "used" to own) a small farm next to the southern border of Pepper Creek. I had worked diligently behind the scenes to pay off the back taxes on their ramshackle farm. Friday the sherrif (after a little coaxing) evicted these two and we were able to add another 2 acres to Pepper Creek. I'm not sure where they'll end up, but suffice it to say they still hadn't taken down their plastic xmas yard art. Good riddance Mamsy and Gramps, depart from us we never knew yee!

Detour to South America!

Dear friends I'm journaling this message as we travel abroad. Mexico was glorious, however it was quite dirty and the weather turned a bit. William called our travel agent and we took a detour to Peru to attend a Yoga summit. The plane flight was so smooth I was able to read the entire book of Revelations! (my favorite)...so add another achievement as I have now read God's entire book 12 times!!! More to come!

Back to school for Bethany and Standish

Peppercreek Ranch is much quieter these days. Bethany resumes her studies at Harding where she hopes to continue finger puppet ministry and have a paying job as a landowner. There are sooooo many rules for evicting people and with this tough economy it's good to get as much info as possible on it! Standish is a senior at Northern Iowa and got an invite from a friend of a friend to go see Kurt Warner (former Iowa Barnstormer!) play in the Superbowl. Glenn still struggles with obesity, latent anger, and lethargy (fancy word for lazy!). That's all for now, got to get the new car cleaned (again!!!).

Dipping our toe in a new pool!

William and I have decided to try our hand at the "hard money lending game". There is so much opportunity these days to capitalize on the financial woes and distress of others that we couldn't pass it up! We don't know a whole lot about it, just that we lend money to those that are experiencing financial turmoil and if they don't pay then we can TAKE some of their possessions (cars, jewelry, electronics, gold and more!!). I swear, it really is exciting to hear William practice his lines like "If you don't pay, you'll PAY!" and "Squeeze them till they hurt Gail".

The "Flu"?!? comes to Pepper Creek

Hiemal weather came to to Pepper Creek Ranch© this week, and with the chill a most absurd illness. Glen came down with something called “the Flu” which is much worse that it’s short name implies. We thought that BioFixx (our natural remedy company) would prevent us from suffering “the scourge of the penniless” but Glen’s poor constitution makes him a target. He kept all of us awake for a week. He started with throat clearing and progressed to a deep hacking cough and then to hocking up all sorts of things in the early morning hours. From there he spent the better part of each day sprinting to the bathroom, whining about the sweats and “vomiting”. We had to put the staff in quarantine as William felt they were responsible for getting Glen sick. I’m not sure if it was their poor diet or economic status but either way we’ve taken appropriate steps so it won’t happen again. William and I have decided to rekindle our love for each other at the private villa south of Cancun. I can't wait to feel the stress of our daily lives melt away under the warm Carribbean sun and cool peenya coladas!!!