If you turn on the news you hear crazy things like: "we're in a recession", or "now is the time for cutting back" or even "everyone should think about having a smaller simpler christmas".
To all those I say BAH HUM BUG! Christmas is about celebrating winners, making the most of your year end excess you've accumulated and doing something nice for yourself and your family. In a tight economy I have some great tips for making ends meet:
1. Stop giving to charitable organizations - from the bell ringers to the beggars, they all should have planned better. If you dont' bail them out this year they'll be better off next year! Plus you'll have more jingle in your pockets!
2. Capitalize on desparation- find the hot toys on the market and buy up as many as you possibly can. Wait until people are truly desparate and get top dollar for them! If they really want their kids to have a good christmas they'll pay through the nose and you'll be ready to take their money!
3. Keep your receipts and DEMAND that others buying you gifts attach a receipt. This will allow you to see just how much they spent on you and more importantly get a full refund! Cash is king my friends!
4. Regift regift regift! it's inexpensive, just be careful you don't regift in the same social circles.
5. Don't host parties, attend them! This save you time and expenses. Let the people hosting it pickup the check for once.
Keep a cool head and follow my advice and you'll come out of the Christmas holidays a winner!
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21 comments:
You are an insensitive asshole!
This has got to be the most irresponible blog I have EVER read.
You people will burn in hell.
Regrettably, I am unable to e-mail you an attachment containing my dog's stool.
I'd really like for you to take a whiff of what it is I am reading here...
I smell troll
This 'Ranch" must be some kind assylum for the shallowest asshole people that can be found anywhere.
You people make me want to vomit.
Have a lousy Holiday, then shoot yourselves in the head.
This is a gag, right? These can't be real people, maybe some kind of SNL writers fun? If these are real people, I'd rather hang out with crackheads. At least they have some personality.
Too fucking funny. Don't you "offended" folks have a sense of humor? Seriously.
yeah, what ^ said. probably the funniest shit I've read in a while. hell, maybe I'll even try a couple of the bullet points. it's like they say: a sucker is born every minute. to which you can follow up with: a fool and his money are easily departed.
Dickheads that HAVE are such assholes, That is why Obama was winner, clean your ass out and give to the poor. Keep on talking about HOW MUCH you go, it will be shared soon. Enjoy Christmas DICKHEADS
Does anyone know how to erase these hateful comments?!?
you got these hateful comments because your a wealthy piece of shit who likes to talk about how successful you are. If I knew where you lived I'd burn your fucking house down on Christmas.
I'm dead serious.
The way you've described people less fortunate than you is disgusting. I'm sure it doesn't bother you though. Or your rich douchebag friends.
I hope your wife and children get AIDS shitbag...
Winning and receiving gifts are what make xmas special. Perhaps if you weren't losing and getting nothing you would be happier!.
Keep your chin up sinner!
tHIS IS A FAKE BLOG RIGHT? NO POSSIBLE WAY COULD SOMEONE POST SUCH A RIDICULOUS BLOGS. THIS IS A PUT ON. NO WAY COULD SOMEONE SUCH A SUPER BITCH RIGHT?
You may try a spell check program. Oh, never mind! I see you consider yourself an expert! Give each other loaded handguns for gifts. You're so fucking dumb, I'm sure the blog would suddenly fall silent day after Christmas!
I cant believe what filthy pieces of shit these people are. I hope they all die in a horrific accident so we can all go piss on thier graves.
Hiya tiger, you spelled 'thier' wrong. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...especially mispelled words by ignorant poor people!
"Ignorant poor"? Phony wealthey people are apparently ignorant too. As your blog proves it. Nevertheless, you get the message.
You are pitiable. My kitty is smarter than you are.
Mr Angry and Hurtful,
I picture you typing this at the local library, which offer free innernet access to people whose permanent residence is a cardboard box. We're looking for someone to pick weeds on our yard next weekend and we'll give you a shiny quarter, do we have a deal?
Gailygail
Do you sell the stuff on CL or eBay?
"Ignorant poor"? Phony wealthey people are apparently ignorant too. As your blog proves it. Nevertheless, you get the message. You are pitiable. My kitty is smarter than you are.
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